I've come up against this time after time after time, quite frankly it's a tad waring for me. People actually think your being false when in actual fact what is happening is this is actually who I am.

Now i'm far from perfect, I don't profess to be perfect. Before 2004, I was a incredibly shy, insecure person with alot of issues, I sulked terribly and was unable to voice how I felt on situations, I certainly wouldn't have written it down in a blog. I had no self respect, i certainly didn't think i was worthy for anything decent.

However walking the path I'm on, I've done ALOT of work on myself, characterwise and spiritually. Its an ongoing processes as with all life things.

This is my stuff. Apart from family I've walked this path alone, completely. Spiritually my guides and helpers on the otherside have been with me helping me.

So what you see here is, someone actually listening to the lessons that keep on happening time after time after time.

I must say. There are times when I think what the fuck is the lesson here? especially this year where I loved two men, who didn't care about me at all - one was from the Netherlands - the other the situation happened the beginning of this year. Doesn't actually convince a girl to jump back into things if you know what i mean... what does that actually say about me eh? I'm actually scared TO love? how depressing....

That is the past, we move forward.

I focus on the next moment, I focus on tomorrow. I focus on it being 5 o'clock. I focus on my tea.

Thanks for reading this blog.